Dec 122012

Widows, this was a good week. Rat’s Orphan and her roll of the dice put me in the position to do better than my husband with my predictions. It all came down to the Monday night game. He chose the Texans and the Orphan and I chose the Patriots. (Pause for gasp!) Ladies, do not adjust your computer monitor. You read that correctly. My husband, a loyal Patriots fan, DID NOT choose them to win. It was amazing to watch the cognitive dissonance created as he wished to be wrong about the outcome of that game! Being wrong, however, meant that this week would mark the first week that I came out ahead in my predictions. December 10, 2012 is a day that will live in infamy. Not only was I right about the Patriots, my husband was actually rooting to be wrong! Now I have seen it all and I can leave this earth as a happy woman!

I give Ghost Rat a hard time. I tease him about how loudly he claps and yells, pretending to cower in fear. I scheduled a Christmas shopping run that lasted most of the first half of Monday night’s game on purpose. I told him to develop some sort of SOS code to use if he keels over since he watches the game in the basement and I may not hear him collapse. In spite of myself though, I have grown to enjoy my time in the man cave, eyes glued to 6 different games on NFL Sunday Ticket. I have opinions now about players, coaches and teams. I may not be well informed, but I know just enough to be dangerous, and probably more than a little bit annoying. I realize that many men need to be careful what they wish for. I wonder if they really want us to sit down next to them on the couch, pop open an adult beverage and talk about wisdom of starting a rookie quarterback. Maybe what they really want is to be left well enough alone. I need to issue a warning: If it can happen to me, it can happen to any woman. Any woman can end up a FAN.

That got me thinking, Widows. What if women ran the NFL? I think that there are many who would like to see the resignation of Roger Goodell, but are they ready for a woman in the role of Commissioner? Or would that make her a Commissionette? If women ran the league, I think some things would change!

The latest controversy centers around a proposal to ban the kickoff. Without going into elaborate detail, this is being batted around as a way to reduce injury to players by eliminating the opportunity for a surprise on side kick. I have tried repeatedly to re-type the logic for choosing the field position, the rationale behind making it a “4 down and 15 yards to go” situation, and quite frankly I deleted it 4 times before I decided to abandon my efforts. A female commissioner probably wouldn’t choose a strategy that was that hard to explain. That isn’t to say that a female commissioner would embrace a practice that creates great risk for injury, but with that logic, she would probably turn the league into the NFFL (National Flag Football League).

Regarding the violence issue, I think a female commissioner may approach rough, hazardous play differently. Teams are penalized in terms of yardage and players are sometimes fined or suspended for their conduct. Yardage penalties don’t seem to deter thugs from acting accordingly and those guys have paychecks that aren’t even touched by the fines issued. If we invoke Kindergarten rules, when players can’t play nice, maybe he shouldn’t be allowed to play at all! Bench him. Immediately. Remove him from the playground and make him sit in time out while his buddies play nicely.

When I began musing about this topic, my husband pointed out that Condoleezza Rice, the former Secretary of State, has had her name bandied about for the top spot in the NFL. A die hard football fan, she is a lifelong follower of the Cleveland Browns. She has been quoted several times saying that the commissioner job is her “dream job”. She recently appeared in an advertisement for NFL football apparel for women. Not only is she a fan and now a model, but she is also both a football orphan (her father was a football coach) and a football widow, having had a long term relationship with an NFL player in her younger years. I don’t know if the world is ready for a woman in that position, but her resume looks good. Watch out, Mr. Goodell!

Since this week’s focus is on women ruling the football world, I am turning to my own intuition again for the picks.

Widow’s Week 15 Picks
Bengals over Eagles
Packers over Bears
Giants over Falcons
Buccaneers over Saints
Rams over Vikings
Redskins over Browns
Dolphins over Jaguars
Broncos over Ravens
Texans over Colts
Lions over Cardinals
Chargers over Panthers
Seahawks over Bills
Steelers over Cowboys
Raiders over Chiefs
Patriots over 49ers
Jets over Titans

Rats Widow

Rat's Widow is very happily married in spite of her football widow status. She is a mom, a step-mom, and a professional who enjoys shopping, cooking and knitting. She is learning quite a bit about football in spite of herself...

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