Oct 232012

Greetings again, Widows. I realized that I have been neglecting one of my commitments that I made when I said that I would do a weekly blog about my survival of the football season–adding to the glossary of terms. Allow me to play a little bit of catch up.

“Line of scrimmage”: this is the imaginary line that the players who have the ball have to line up behind. Basically, they have to be behind the ball, and they have to use their imaginations, as well as their depth perception to make sure that they are lined up correctly. I have previously defined false starts and offsides in our glossary of terms. Both of these penalties relate to failing to follow the rules about staying in line.

“Pocket”: the imaginary area created to try to protect a quarterback in order for him to have enough time to pass the football. The people who provide this protection are typically enormous individuals. In playground language, these are the guys to whom you gladly give your lunch money to protect you from the guys who want to beat you up to steal it.

“Sack”: this is what they call tackling the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. I had a terrible time trying to find out why they call it a “sack”. It may be because officials used to throw down a bean bag (sack) when this occurred, according to Wikipedia. (Sack is also a manufacturer of purses, offering a variety of stylish, yet practical, over priced handbags that can be found in any major department store near you! I have one and guess what?? It has a pocket. Coincidence?? I think not!)

“Intentional Grounding”: much as the name implies, this penalty is called when the quarterback throws the ball at the ground on purpose. Based on personal observation, it appears that this is done to avoid being tackled/sacked. (I intellectually understand why this is something that is not allowed, although if my son was a quarterback, I guarantee that I’d be the loudest person in the stands yelling “GET RID OF IT!”)

“Incomplete pass”: unlike intentional grounding, in this case, the quarterback has very good intentions of throwing the ball to another player, but it ends up on the ground by mistake. This results in the need for a do-over. Depending on who a fan is cheering for, it may also resort in loud use of profanity and questioning of why it is that people who are paid that much money can’t seem to do their job, whether it be the inept quarterback or the butter fingered intended receiver.

Now, watch me use all of this in a sentence! The quarterback stepped back into the pocket, and then intentionally grounded the ball to try to avoid a sack because he couldn’t get across the line of scrimmage, although the coach had the play reviewed because he thought it was an incomplete pass. Nice, right?

My dear Sisters of the Traveling Remote Control, I invite you to submit football terms to this website that defy your understanding. I promise to research them to the best of my patience and attention span, and to define them in a manner designed to increase your understanding of football as well as mine. I will gladly treat any questions or requests in the same manner. This will give me something meaningful to do while my husband assists to coach the Patriots for 3 hours per week from the privacy of our basement. (Does anyone know where I can get a 2012 Patriot’s coach Bill Belichick sweatshirt just like the one that he wears on the sidelines on game day? And do you suppose that he cut the sleeves off himself or does it come that way?)  Ghost Rat’s Note: Here it is, honey… in gray but with sleeves. Still very nice.  :-)

This week, in honor of Halloween, I decided to base my picks on the team with the “Best Costume”. Those guys at ESPN really “get” us and understand what is important: power rankings of current uniform sets following the Nike re-design!! I am a sucker for a good costume change every now and again to mix things up. See how ESPN ranked them (as well as pictures of the home and away uniforms) here:

Week 8 picks

Buccaneers over Vikings
Packers over Jaguars
Jets over Dolphins
Chargers over Browns
Colts over Titans
Patriots over Rams
Eagles over Falcons
Bears over Panthers
Lions over Seahawks
Steelers over Redskins
Raiders over Chiefs
Giants over Cowboys
Saints over Broncos
49ers over Cardinals

Rats Widow

Rat's Widow is very happily married in spite of her football widow status. She is a mom, a step-mom, and a professional who enjoys shopping, cooking and knitting. She is learning quite a bit about football in spite of herself...

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